Current Tunage: none
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It’s one of those nights where a combination of trace amounts of caffeine and a hyperactive mind are preventing sleep… I’ve discovered it’s a strange and humbling thing to ask the Lord for the hand of one of his daughters (in a general sense, of course). A strange thing that is sure to send one into a lengthy fit of prayer and fasting… and wonder.

I want to know who you are. I want a lifetime to learn you and understand you. I want to have the patience, wisdom, and love to earn your trust and find a prominent place in your world. I want the strength and the vision to honor you with the way I live now, before everything even begins. I want to honor you with the way I chase you, and with the way I win you. I want to chase you, pursue you, and ultimately catch and capture your heart so that I can pour Christ into it. I want to grow in Christ so that it is Him in me that draws you. I want to work hard to become everything the Lord has set in my heart to be for you since a young age, even though so much of it seems beyond reason. I want to be your warrior poet, your faithful best friend, your humble leader, and your co-conspirator. I want to grow to be a source of wisdom, vision, direction, passion, provision, and stability for you. I want to keep holding out and holding fast to Him until you are plainly obvious to me. I want to spend hours praying with you, seeking the Lord’s guidance for our life. I want to be loyal, dedicated, and committed to serving your needs and pointing you towards Christ with every breath. I want to keep saving my first kiss for you, for when I am yours. I want to be your hero, your solace, your joy, your tear-shoulder, your confidante, your closest brother in Christ. I want to be your husband when the time comes.

I want you to follow Christ passionately and continue in being made beautiful in Him. I want you to stick in there, in a state of peace, because He’s getting me ready and sending me after you at the right time. I want you to sleep well with visions of our future and contentment knowing that the Lord is taking care of you. I want you to put your everything into the things the Lord sets in your heart to accomplish, no matter the cost. I want you to be a challenge to win, someone who protects their heart and expects me to protect it also. I want you to stay pure in mind and body. I want you to trust God’s timing in all things, even when it seems all hope is lost. I want you to grow to be a source of wisdom, comfort, counsel, passion, solace, and stability. I want you to expect the very best out of me at all times and to be disappointed when I fall short. I want you to point me towards Christ with every breath, recognizing my inability to do anything well without His strength. I want you to say “yes”… three times, but I expect you to say “no” if I’m not ready. I want you to be in constant preparation for a crazy life of loving the Lord Christ, seeking Him, and doing everything He asks us to – even when it seems irrational or insane. I want you to be my muse, my joy, my delight, my confidante, my sanity, my closest sister in Christ. I want you to be the wife of my youth, when the time comes. I want you to be here with me.

I want to jump into the future for five minutes to just hold you and cry. This is gonna be unreal, hang in there.

Love ya, hon. Sleep tight.

Edit: I realized this probably needs a bit of explanation. It’s the product of being single – three years and counting, and it’s very much incomplete but looking back on this post a couple days later, I really like what’s here. It captures a lot of the core ideas I’ve been learning and tossing around in my head since September of 2003. I stand by these words and aspire to realize them in fact, recognizing how heavy they are. If you are single, I hope they inspire you and spur you on – I honestly believe that it is worth every second of waiting on the Lord to meet our needs.